I got wasted

I was recently reminded by a glance at §åû®µ$'s blog of the rampant addiction problem sweeping the young adult population of the United States. It is particularly problematic among the male population, although it affects some women as well. The first instances of use (and abuse) usually occur in high school, although many start earlier. But experts agree that this condition reaches its most debilitating levels during college years, especially among fraternities and other similar organizations. No, ladies and gentlemen, I am not talking about alcoholism. I am talking about Halo.

For a year or two after its release I abstained from this electronic addiction. It really wasn't that hard of a choice, since neither I nor any of my roommates had an X-Box. Nor did any of them have it on their PC. So I lived in blissful peace, satisfied with the occasional game of MarioKart64 or Super Smash Brothers on the N64. Although you could say my Starcraft addiction (an ongoing and habit which perhaps merits its own posting at a later date) increased during this time period, I still hadn't made the jump the more addictive stuff.

Then one fateful night Mynamyn and her husband invited me over for a Halo party. I underwent all the internal turmoil and anguish of a kid offered his first joint. "Well, I dunno, I'm not sure that's something I wanna do." They were pro's, they knew how to handle lukewarm resistance like the weak lines I was giving them. "Well c'mon over anyway," they said. "We've got plenty of food and you don't have to play, you can just hang with everyone else. We've got two X-Boxes hooked together so there will be eight spots. If you feel like it, you can jump in on. If not, just enjoy our company." They knew they had me at the mention of food, but they continued to assure me that it would be cool, so I consented.

I showed up at their apartment and it seemed like good, wholesome fun. There were nice people there that I hadn't met before along with some old friends. "Hey, we're so glad you could make it!" they said. I naturally went straight for the food and then sat on one of the couches next to Mynamyn while she casually showed me how the controls worked. They then played a multiplayer round and it looked like lots of fun. (Of course it looked like fun! People don't fork out a couple hundred bucks for a boring game.) Then, as I was finishing up my chips, she casually made the pitch: "We've got another controller. You want in on this next one? You can be on our team." Like a weak, amoral fool I caved and reached for the controller.

My first couple rounds were probably like the first few puffs of a cigarette. It was hard, there were too many buttons, I got wasted over and over again, and the directional controls weren't inverted. But then I switched the controls to inverted and got the hang of how to aim and I suddenly found myself screaming "WHAT NOW FOOL?" when I finally blew Mynamyn's husband's brains out. I was hooked the first time.

Fortunately, I have been able to diagnose my problem early and take the necessary measures to escape this addiction. I am currently undergoing treatment for Halo addiction. In addition to this treatment I am attending Haloholics Anonymous and I have started the first step of this 12-step program, which is to admit that I have an addiction to this game. My sponsor has suggested that I avoid other games like Starcraft and N64 for a while so I don't slide back into the old habits. I've been doing really well, I haven't played N64 or Starcraft for a month or two and I've been Halo-free for almost 6 months now. I was lucky because I caught the problem early enough; others aren't so fortunate. I hope my story inspires others to take account of their addictions, realize they are powerless, and take the first steps to do something about it.

Awe, who am I kidding. I can’t wait to play Halo 2.