That's cold

This morning The Redhead and I got up and were eating breakfast when our neighbor called and asked if we had hot water. I went to the sink and turned the hot water on full blast and it came freezing cold. Our neighbor could hear my anguished howl through the walls, so she didn’t need to hear my answer when I actually got back on the phone. Our hot water tank is tricksy; the pilot light likes to go out without warning, and we don’t discover that it’s off until two days later when the hot water runs out. Unfortunately, by that point it will take another day or two before we can get the hot water tank up to temperature again, so we’re in for a cold water day.

This is the second time in 3 months that the hot water has gone out in our building. There was also an additional time when the pilot light for the heating system (which also uses water pipes) went out and the heat began blowing cold air. This conveniently happened just as the weather turned cold. That was a chilly night; I’m shivering just thinking about it. I spent two years in Latin America, and most of that time was without a water heater. I got used to it, and it was usually so cold I didn’t mind. Sometimes we had these little water heaters hooked up to the shower heads called “duchacornas” (shower crowns). These actually did an okay job of warming up the water as it came out of the spigot, but they had a bad habit of zapping you because of their bad wiring. Being shocked while wet and naked is an unpleasant experience. I thought treatment like that only happened to people in the Hanoi Hilton until I got to experience it for myself. So I just took cold showers from then on.

The Redhead, however, does not like cold water. At all. Actually, she doesn’t like cold anything. Cold weather, cold rain, cold feet, etc. She wasn’t too happy at the prospects of taking a freezing cold shower, so we ended up boiling a bunch of pots of water and mixing it with the cold bathwater so she could take a warm bath instead of an ice shower. This took a while, since our current collection of cooking ware is somewhat limited. It probably wasted a lot of electricity by repeatedly heating up pots of water on the stove, but electricity is included in our rent and we figured it serves the management right for not paying attention to the hot water heater. Not wanting to repeat the 45-minuted heating process again, I just gritted my teeth and took a cold shower. I wish I could say I proved my manliness by enduring the process stoically, but in reality I gasped for breath and screamed, “Sweet mother of pearl, that’s cold!” I actually got somewhat used to the temperature by the time I got done, but the water was so cold that when I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair it gave me a cold headache like I gobbled up a snocone too fast. After I got out my skin was crimson, like I had been slapped with an open palm repeatedly.

However, we survived the experience. And honestly, it could have been worse. Last time the hot water went out my mother-in-law was staying with us. It was right after we got married, and I thought, “Now there’s a way to impress your in-laws.” So I spent the morning boiling water for baths. I feel a sudden connection with Laura Ingalls Wilder.