Temper temper

I have the most terrible temper sometimes. Oh, most of the time I’m fine. But every once in a while something just sets me off. This morning had me all riled up. I was hurrying out the door and I forgot my ID and my Metro card. To get into my work I have to pass 3 security stations, and I need my government issue ID for two of them. Not having my ID means I have to go through the annoying and time-consuming process of having an outside guard call an inside desk on the radio and have one of them call one of my coworkers on the phone so they can vouch for me and I can get inside. It makes me late and it’s cold outside, so I didn’t like that. (We’ve been on Orange Alert for 6 months. I think someone forgot to bring the alert level back down, like leaving the light on in the attic and not noticing it for a month.) But forgetting my Metro card means I have to buy a new one, which means I have to wait in line at one of the machines in the Metro station to get a new card. Today there were two women in front of me that took a long time checking the balance on their pass. They didn’t even buy anything, but they took a long time. I heard two of my trains come and go while I waited for them. I then bought my ticket as fast as I could and ran down the escalator, only to see my train pull out of the station.

I got so mad. Completely irrational anger possessed me. I don’t hit things when I get angry (although I wanted to this morning). I usually just quiet and perhaps mutter certain words under my breath. The thing that drives me crazy about my temper is that I only get mad about little and irrelevant things. No one cares when I get into work. I can just call a coworker and have them okay me for entry. If I have to buy another Metro card I’ll just use it up; it won’t be wasted money. I knew all of these things in the back of my mind but I was still too mad to calm down. That’s the thing I hate about me sometimes. One side of my brain is completely aware of how immature I am being, but the other side won’t settle down for a while.

Today I was in a grumbly mood until I got into the office and sat down and I suddenly wasn’t mad anymore. My Mr. Hyde side got tired of being angry, and my Dr. Jekyll began to berate me for being so foolish for getting upset about such a little thing. I guess the positive aspect of my temper is that it is always short-lived. I couldn’t hold a grudge to save my life, and I really don’t like being mad. It’s not fun, so I don’t stay mad for very long. It possibly comes from growing up with several brothers. We often shared a room and we got in fights on a regular basis, but we simply resorted to physical violence to solver our disputes. After a royal rumble we would be too tired to fight anymore and all of us would have forgotten what the original argument was about, so the matter was solved. This certainly wasn’t the most highbrow conflict resolution mechanism every utilized by humankind, but it worked for 12-year-old boys. I don’t tackle people when I get mad now, but I need to work on my royal rumble temper.