Absolutely atrocious

The Redhead and I got back from Salt Lake City this afternoon after spending the morning up there with some friends. We sat down to have lunch, and The Redhead turned on the TV. TBS was having a Valentine’s Day marathon, with chick flicks until Tuesday of next week, so we flipped to TNT. There’s always a movie or Law & Order on TNT, and I like both of those things. There was an action flick on called The Long Kiss Goodnight, and as I sat there and watched the last hour or so, I could not believe how terrible it was. It was truly the worst movie I have seen in years, and possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I get the feeling that it didn’t stay in the theaters long, so I doubt most of you have heard of it or seen it. Be thankful, if this is the case. I have never been so unattached to characters—I really didn’t care who won or who died. It included almost every single action flick cliché, including massive explosions and the heroes were unhurt and extremely lame one-liners. Geena Davis played the main female lead, and this movie may be the reason I haven’t seen her in a film since. She plays the world’s stupidest mom trying to save her daughter from “the bad guys,” and truly, she and her daughter deserved to die in this movie. They were that dumb. Actually, the little girl who played her daughter was a pretty terrible actress too. Child actors are different than adults, but this little girl was extremely unbelievable and annoying. I have seen better acting in high school plays. Samuel L. Jackson also had the bad fortune to play in The Long Kiss Goodnight. His character got blown out of a building through a road sign and into a tree, and later got shot in the chest several times, but he still somehow managed to sneak into a car and drive up at the last minute to save Ms. Davis and her very annoying daughter. Fortunately, Mr. Jackson has done better in recent years and no longer needs to appear in random terrible B-class action flicks. Oh, wait, wasn’t he in Deep Blue Sea?