Vanity

I am an incredibly vain person. I know most people think Skippy has a monopoly on the Board when it comes to this fine art, but I really am a very vain person. I spent part of Sunday afternoon organizing my shoes according to how often I use them. The hiking boots and the flip-flops went in the back, but this will necessitate a rearrangement come Spring. A coworker of mine was extolling the virtues of zipper ties, and I said I didn’t like them because they didn’t allow me to adjust my tie length and know thickness according to what pants and shirt I am wearing, or if I am wearing a suit. He looked at me like I was a freak, which was probably an accurate assessment. I actually owned more than 30 pairs of shoes at one time, although the current number is much lower. But that is more a product of my income rather than my footwear preferences.

One of the problems I have with being so vain is that I simply don’t have the money to support my preferences. I remember walking past a Burburry store up on K Street in D.C. and coveting some of the items in the window. However, I didn’t have $900 to spend on a 10-ply cashmere sweater at the time, nor do I budget $2,500 for new suits. The Redhead, although not nearly as vain as I am, nonetheless has very exacting tastes of style and clothing. She has on more than one occasion complained that she is so picky. She thinks it would be more convenient to not have as good a taste in clothes so that she could buy stuff from any ol’ store. I disagree with her; I think the solution is for us to get filthy stinking rich, so money isn’t a problem. Some people have drug and alcohol addictions; we have dependencies on computer games and clothes. That’s just pitiful.