The real social security
The other day The Redhead remarked how fun it was to have me as a boyfriend. But before I could get too flattered, she said, “It was just nice to have a boyfriend.” Well wait a minute, I thought, did you like me or did you just like having a boyfriend? “What about having a husband?” I asked in a blatant plea for validation. “Oh, yeah,” she said offhandedly, “but having a boyfriend is fun. You have someone to go to football games with and to watch movies with and to hang out with. You never get stuck without a date, and you always have someone to cuddle with.” Don’t get me wrong, she still likes me and all, but apparently she liked me better as a boyfriend. :-) I suddenly found myself relegated to the level a purse or necklace—a convenient accessory, but nothing to which you would really become attached.
Many times I’ve heard my friends of the female persuasion lament that they had no boyfriend, but very rarely do I ever hear them have someone specific in mind. They don’t really want someone, they just want anyone. Never mind that I would be branded as shallow or callous if I were to express a desire for a similar bit of “arm candy.” They want a boy toy for their convenience, and that’s not shallow at all. In fact, I think lots of girls are more in love with the idea of love than they are with a particular person. For me, the whole point of the game is when you find that specific person to whom you attach those feelings. For girls, it seems they’ve been looking for years, and they finally find someone they’ll settle on. Now that’s a flattering thought. “Congratulations, you’re good enough for now. Wanna be my boyfriend?”
In fact, that rubbish they’re discussing in
posted by Benvolio @ 1:46 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
All I have to say is...
It's Twue!
That's why I like having boyfriends . that way, you have multiple people to make you feel all warm and fuzzy instead of settling on just one :-)
Gasp! No! So not true! You... you MAN you! I count myself among your friends of the female persuasion, and I'm pretty much almost totally kinda sure that I've never said anything even REMOTELY like that. In fact, I'm rather famous among my Ohio friends for just dating guys occasionally, unless I discover that I want an actual relationship with them. Guy friends exist for wedding dates, and girl friends exist for 'girls night out' movies and dinners. Cuddling, on the other hand, exists for guys I find both intellectually intriguing and physcially attractive. ie, boyfriend material. There's really no point to it otherwise. ...eye candy, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother issue. :P
When you said you ranted on girls, I was expecting something, well, a little more vitriolic.
For what's it's worth, a lot of us *do* just want a boyfriend. But he has to be someone worth going to the games and the movies with. So don't feel so lacking in validation. The part of the deal where the boyfriend has to be worthwhile is sort of implied for most of us.
Good to see you at the meeting today.
Linds, you aren't exactly the quintessential girlie-girl, now, are you? But you know there's some truth to what I said.
Humph. I suppose I'm rather forced to admit you have a point, based on multiple girl friends of mine who won't dump a boyfriend until they have another one on the line... But I'm not happy about it, and certainly not a fan. I will, however, respond by saying that a lot of guys seem to still be worried about the peer pressure thang... not wanting to date a girl their friends think is weird or unattractive, blah blah blah, even if they themselves like them. I suppose if girls aren't picky enough, then perhaps guys are TOO picky- and I'm not talking personality here, either. :P
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